A Psychiatrist’s Letter to Young People About “Fifty Shades of Grey”There’s nothing grey about Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s all black. Let me explain. I help people who are broken inside. I ask questions, and listen carefully to the answers. That’s how I discover why the person in front of me is . One thing I’ve learned is that young people are utterly confused about love – finding it and keeping it. They make poor choices, and end up in lots of pain.
I don. Even if you don’t see the film, its message is seeping into our culture, and. Be prepared. Fifty Shades of Grey is being released.
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The movie is actually about a sick, dangerous relationship filled with physical and emotional abuse. It seems glamorous, because the actors are gorgeous, they have expensive cars and private planes, and Beyonce is singing. You might conclude that Christian and Ana are cool, and that even though their relationship is different, it’s acceptable. Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated by a Hollywood studio. The people there just want your money; they have no concern whatsoever about you and your dreams. Abuse is not glamorous or cool. He is confused about love because he never experienced the real thing.
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In his mind, love is tangled up with bad feelings like pain and embarrassment. Anastasia is an immature girl who falls for Christian’s looks and wealth, and foolishly goes along with his desires. In the real world, this story would end badly, with Christian in jail, . Or maybe Christian would continue beating Ana, and she. Either way, their lives would most definitely not be a fairy tale. Trust me on this one.
As a doctor, I. Get informed, learn the facts, and explain to your friends why they shouldn’t see it either. Here are a few of the dangerous ideas promoted by Fifty Shades of Grey: Girls want guys like Christian who order them around and get rough. No! A psychologically healthy woman avoids pain. She wants to feel safe, respected and cared for by a man she can trust. A psychologically healthy man wants a woman who can stand up for herself. Sure, Anastasia had free choice – and she chose poorly. A self- destructive decision is a bad decision.
Anastasia makes choices about Christian in a thoughtful and detached manner. I doubt that. Christian constantly supplies Anastasia with alcohol, impairing her judgement. Neuroscience suggests their intimacy could jump start her feelings of attachment and trust, before she’s certain he deserved them. In the real world, Christian wouldn’t change to any significant degree. If Anastasia was fulfilled by helping emotionally disturbed people, she should have become a psychiatrist or social worker.
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It. It’s wise to be very careful who you allow to get close to you, physically and emotionally, because just one encounter can throw you off track and change your life forever. There are vast differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships, but the movie blurs those differences, so you begin to wonder: what’s healthy in a relationship? There are so many shades of grey. There’s no room for doubt; an intimate relationship that includes violence, consensual or not, is unacceptable. This is black and white.
There are no shades of grey here. Not even one. For information about booking me to speak at your event, please see my speaking page.